My Blog
November 26th, 2009
So for those of you who might know me, know my love of infiltrating vacant buildings.
I own the domain namewww.packardplant.comI have it redirecting to a website of some serious infiltrators from the city of Detroit.
Today I was surfing and found this erie website with pictures from a whole city left abandoned near Chernobyl. The city of Prypiat. An entire city built to house the Chernobyl Nuclear Power Plant workers, and was abandoned in 1986 following the Chernobyl disaster. Its population had been around 50,000 before the accident.
After the disaster, the city of Pripyat was evacuated in two days.
I found this website with some amazing photo’s of the state that the city is in now:
Chernobyl Today
I encourage you take a look the photos are amazing !!
Here are a few of my favourites:
October 5th, 2009
As I sat on the bus heading back home from the airport tears filled my eyes… Not to sure why i felt so emotional in that moment, perhaps looking around at all the flat buildings, and strip malls.. sad that I would no longer be surrounded by so much history, beauty and places I had never been to before.
Perhaps I was sad that i had to return to my reality not that it is bad, I enjoy my job, I have good family and enjoy my friends here. Maybe the tears were partly tears of happiness, that I had such an amazing journey. Either way I feel different but I feel better then when I left.
Winter is in the air now, it is close, no more warm days to look forward too that in itself is depressing. 6 months of cold ! How do we live in this country !
So back to the grind, back to figuring out a direction. A big door will be closed for me this Friday, a huge door with a “never to return again” sign posted on it. Marriage how glad I will be to move on from that tragedy. I think I have some huge fears I need to face this year – but if i can get past them it will be a very good new year for me.
I will not be getting the Swine Flu vaccine, you can call me crazy and you won’t be the first, but I do not trust it not one bit.
I have been doing some research and it turns out there is a preservative they add to the vaccine that causes autism and sudden infant death. I question if this “pandemic” is a beta test for possible population control.
I don’t know for sure but I think people need to look into this more before they freak out over the propaganda that will keep getting fed to us. But I guess that is the point.. get people to freak out, run get the shot.. you don’t want to die and make old and young people die ! Guilt and fear ! Served up with your morning coffee.
Here is a little video for your viewing pleasure
September 24th 2009
So I am here in Berlin hanging with my friend Ruby. She is Canadian too, doing the whole artist thing here in Berlin. It is quite inspiring here. So much art and electronic music every where ! The idea of living here is very tempting. But the idea of not knowing where the next pay cheque is coming from is not so tempting well..perhaps but.. I think I am still just trying to to figure out where I fit into things again, where my place is within the whole “scene” I get tired of the late nights, fucked up people and fatigue. Everyone says you have to schmooze to make it in this industry.. yes i know the game. I just am not to sure what game it is I want to play anymore. If i have nothing to share why should i talk to people i would rather not care to talk to – if i have something to share well i dunno– perhaps there is something interesting to be said beyond the whole this is what i do and what can we do for each other thing… just not to sure anymore I guess.
At one time i had so much to prove now i worry i may come off as someone who is bragging.. who knows.. not me much anymore. I think while i have been here i have enjoyed myself most sitting on patios eating good food drinking good wine and engaged in conversation.. laughing and enjoying the foreign environments
It is interesting to pop into my friends lives in different countries – see what they are experiencing the struggles, the positive the negative the love affairs the drama’s and what drives them.
I feel truly lucky to have such amazing friends living in different places – doing, living and growing.. being able to come by and take a peak into it all can be inspiring and scary for me. I admire them, how nice it would be to just pick up and leave a life behind and start somewhere new away from all the old bad memories and tyrants.
I love my Toronto i really truly do, but I feel stagnated, I am not to sure how much more forward I can move -maybe I have worn out my welcome – there is this perception in people’s mind or maybe it is only in my mind and I just don’t give a shit anymore or i just am not to sure anymore.
I have seen how this music industry crap gets to peoples heads it can turn someone into an instant asshole over night with a bit of good exposure.. everyone want’s a piece of what you have to help make them appear bigger to move them forward. It turns virgins into hookers and then they don’t even see what has happened because the the spot light is so big they just want more.
I cannot even imagine Hollywood people there must be so fuked in the head.
September 14th 2009
Sitting on a train to Basel Switzerland from Paris. Paris was sooo nice !! but somehow whenever i am over here memories of London echo in my mind. Maybe it is because I don’t speak the language in France so I think it is hard to truly get the full experience… but i am sooo glad i got to see Paris!!! Sitting on patios drinking wine and good food enjoying good people and new people 
I must admit i am tired 2 nights in a row of staying out until 6am will take it’s toll.
The Rex club did not impress me. The music was good but it seemed like any other typical techno bar, could have been in Toronto and it would have been the same.. only the music was good all night at the Rex.
The club i really enjoyed was Showcase wow !!! a club built under a bridge, that was a treat !! Mind you when 5am rolled around an i was waiting for my friend i was good and ready to go – french men seem to be pretty persistent and a bit to touchy feely for me.. ugh!! Still the attention was nice to bad i was not really interested.
So now off to Basel and in the morning we will take another train to the border of Italy. This should be relaxing – and perhaps then memories of Paris will begin to echo in my mind.
I made a very big choice while i was in Paris. While i was at the Rex club watching the djs perform it reminded me of how much i miss it and how much i want to be back up there. It also reminded me of the new challenges i will have. I do not want to be up there just as a DJ but as an artist and quality.
I started to resent a situation i was in that might hold me back from what i think need to give my 100% to but at the same time conflicted thinking working on the other project can really benefit what i want to do as a musician. When it came down to it, it was to much of a conflict of interest and with time being so limited i have decided i have to put all my free time into one project and that one project will focus on me 100% which i think may be the best thing for me. Will see… maybe i just passed up an amazing opportunity and i am a fool for it… but i also feel if i don’t try and give this music thing ago again that it will be something i will regret – more so then the other project.
Anyhow the end of my ramblings for the day !
September 11th 2009
Not to sure how many people read this… or where i am going with this… so I am in Paris France.. I must say it is hard to feel like I have had a good nights sleep since I arrived over here… which would have been last Friday.
London was great !! I was happy to touch base with old friends.. and also a bit confused about seeing someone there that has left me a bit confused about things within myself.. but that is all to personal to share on a blog 
Paris is very Beautiful ! I feel very comfortable here. I do feel a bit lost.. as it goes… does not matter wherever you are your situation how you feel does not change. I have to figure it out from within me.
August 5th 2009
I guess this is the day I will start to write my blog page. It is a full moon tonight !
It is hard to know what to exactly write when it comes to a personal blog, as you never want to get to personal on the internet. You never know if it could come back and haunt you.
My original plan for this blog was a travel blog, so perhaps it is a bit premature. I leave on September 3rd for London U.K. My plans are not all set in stone. I love London and all it’s cramped space so I will stay there for a few days. Next it will be of to Alicante Spain – this is if my friend can make it to his flat there in time. Please please please !! I really would love to lay on a beach for a few days.
It has been a rough year… one of the roughest years for me in a looong time. I have contemplated cancelling the trip since shit just seems to keep coming at me. I think i will not really start to feel a calmness until next year. It is not a bad thing… it is just a lot of major changes that that are happening for me in my life which i am sure will all lead to a more positive life for me.
So after Spain the plan is to fly into Paris and meet my dear friend Sonia – after Paris over to Basel Switzerland, I have a few gigs that are lined up for me in Berne. I must start getting my music prepared !! After Switzerland off to Berlin. The Technotropolis of the moment.
Not to sure if i will even have a place to live when I come back or what drama shitz will be thrown at me next. Today I found out i have a cracked tooth that requires a thousand dollars worth of work!! and it is killing me ! Bah… but years of neglect will do this. I will get this taken care of in the next few weeks with some help from some Nitrous Oxide.. in the words on Green Velvet “laughing gas heehee haw haw Cameras ready prepare to flash !”
Other $hit as well i need to take care of that will close some big doors of my past for me as well in the coming weeks.
I guess my one main anxiety right now is my living situation… I need to get out of here 10 years of a lot of stuff.. a huge door i need to close.. but the timing sucks my ass. Will see how this all goes down this week.
Life goes on !
